Reveal and Restraint

After a lot of thought my partner and I decided to part ways. We were together for over ten years and we’re mutually ending our relationship in a friendly, non-dramatic way. The problem we have is how do we tell people that we’re no longer together- what’s the best way to do that?

There’s no perfect way to share what will be perceived as bad news. When bad news is received, it’s human nature for the recipient to ask tons of questions and sometimes try to dig for drama. That said, keeping the reveal as basic as possible is the key to an easier conversation. Of course you each need to tell your individual family members and close friends, keeping it simple, short and focused on the your future moves. You aren’t obligated to tell every friend and acquaintance you have- if some find out second hand that’s exactly how they were suppose to learn about it.

I’ve had a crush on a friend for a while and he just ended his relationship. How soon is too soon to make my move?

Somewhere in between the arrival of the moving van at his new place and the announcement of his engagement to someone else. The last thing you want to be is a transition man, so give him a little time to breathe and to get accustomed to his newly single status. After a month or three ask him if he wants to hang out. Slow and steady always wins the race, Secretariat… bide your time and if it’s suppose to happen, it will happen.

Do you see anything wrong with dating an Ex?

As Barry Manilow sang, “We had the right love at the wrong time…” A mutual revisitation of a past relationship will bring closure at the very least, and it might just bring about a renaissance of love… the only way to know is to go!