Exclusively Yours

I’ve been dating a guy for almost a year and whenever I bring up “exclusivity” or “monogamy” I get shot down. I know he isn’t seeing anyone else, but he refuses to commit to being monogamous. How can I change his mind?

You can’t. If he’s not willing to apply those words to your relationship, there’s no way to get him to honestly embrace the meaning of those words and the actions necessary to make them real. The only thing you can do is to either move forward as part of what sounds like an open relationship with a man who’s given you zero reasons to think he’s seeing others or cut your losses and find a man who’s vocabulary contains “exclusivity” and “monogamy”.

How soon is too soon to go Instagram Official with a new relationship?

If you’re on a first date and you download a pic and label it “Togetha 4-eva” before the bartender can bring you a second bottle of Amstel Light, it’s too soon. As one of my favorite songs by Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings says, “100 days, 100 nights to know a man’s heart”… lyrics to live by.

My partner and I have been together for eight years and we decided to get married. The problem is that he wants me plan with him and sign a prenup. I find it defeatist and an admission of relationship failure. He won’t get married without it, and I feel stuck.

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! Must be a lot of fun planning such a special event, and I’m sure your venue has a sprinkling system and a fire extinguisher or two, right? And I’m sure there’s a less than 5% chance your wedding will be interrupted by an inferno. A prenup is really no different than a fire extinguisher… it’s there “in case of emergency”. I believe the odds favor your happily ever after, but if I’m wrong the document will ensure a painless, speedy exit strategy that might just save your life.